How to Decline a Reference Request

How to Decline a Reference RequestHow to Decline a Reference RequestEmbarking on a job hunt can be stressful and overwhelming, but what if you get pulled into one and youre elend the job seeker? Thats what happens to job references who get that email, phone call or letter requesting a reference for a former colleague, co-worker or subordinate. When you can vouch for the work of someone, providing a reference is an honor and a duty you perform in the interest of the person who asked. But what do you do if the person who asks didnt do good work?Should You Give the Reference?When youre asked to be a reference, the first thing you need to decide is whether or not you are willing to give one. Here are a few things to think about when youre asked to be a reference for someone you dont want to refer Your reference will reflect on you. If you give a good reference and the candidate doesnt live up to your description, it reflects on your professional reputation.Your reference would help someo ne get a job for which they arent suited. If you give a good reference and the candidate isnt a good fit for the job or doesnt have the personal qualities necessary for the position, its just a matter of time until theyre on the job hunt again because they wont last long in the position. Declining a reference can be a good opportunity for the job candidate. If you decline and feel comfortable providing reasons why, this can be a great opportunity for the job candidate to gain insight into their performance and make changes that positively affect their career.Declining the reference doesnt have to be an insult. There are many reasons people decline to be references, so dont feel pressure that everything rests on your shoulders. Its well within your right to decide against being someones reference, and the person can still move on to get the job.How to Decline Being a ReferenceDeciding not to give a reference can feel awkward, but there are several ways you can do so without creating a lot of drama or losing a friend or ally If you dont want to give a reference because your feedback is neutral, let them know that it is an inconvenient time for you and you are unable to be a reference for them. Or, if this is the case, let them know that you dont know enough about their performance to provide the kind of reference they need. Indicate that you dont want it to reflect badly on them you simply arent able to fulfill the requirements right now. If you dont want to give a reference because your feedback is negative, let them know that you want them to be successful but that you are not in a position to give the best possible reference. Ask that they connect with someone else who could speak to their positive qualities. If you want to give specific feedback you can indicate that you cant provide a reference because of X behaviors you witnessed on the job, sharing the examples in a polite, factual way.Saying no is notoriously hard, but in this case it is in the best inte rest of both your reputation and the reputation of the person applying for the job. If you ever feel pressured to be a reference despite your polite refusal, respond with a firm, Im sorry, but my answer is no.Have you ever declined to be someones reference? What did you say, and how did it go?